Many of us were taught that the way we behave in public and the way we behave in private are very different ways of being. When out in public, you shouldn’t shout, use rude language, or be verbally aggressive towards others. You should be polite, kind, and respectful. Most of the time, we are relatively good at abiding by these ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ since being in public can often make one feel intimidated or observed. But what happens when that pressure of being seen by others isn’t there? This awareness of our behaviour in public can be a guiding force, helping us cultivate habits of kindness and understanding that can also positively influence our private interactions.

Whatever definition you give social media, and whatever it’s used for, it seems impossible to deny that it acts as an extension of our public situation, and therefore, should be treated like so.

Social media’s power lies in the ability to be in a public setting without having to adjust from private behaviour.

We can see many examples of this, some rather extreme, in many comment sections and online discussions where people find little to no barriers that stop them from expressing hateful ideas, verbally aggressive offenses, and insensitive humour.

More often than not, the person is less likely to make those same online declarations in a physical social setting. If you come across or can reflect on a comments section like the one described, imagine the individuals in the section all in one public place together. The chances of their discussion being as intense and inconsiderate as it would be online are a lot lower.


By recognising the public nature of social media, we can create a more positive and respectful online community.

To achieve this, start by being mindful of your words and actions online, just as you would in person. Think twice before posting a comment or sharing content—consider if it adds value, kindness, or positivity to the conversation. Encourage others by liking and sharing posts that promote constructive dialogue and show respect for diverse opinions. By supporting positive interactions, we can collectively raise the standard of online discourse.

The bigger issue appears when we look at the result this online culture has on children and teenagers. Young people nowadays are sometimes painted as disrespectful or ungrateful, though maybe now many stop and ask why this is. Adults using social media may still hold the belief that social media and real life are separate, making it easier for them to adjust their behaviour accordingly. On the other hand, younger generations who are brought up in the age of social media today find it much harder to make that distinction between on and offline since, for them, there really isn’t much of a difference. Expecting respect from children and teens while expressing the opposite online is unfair and unreasonable. Without that online/offline boundary, hateful comments and joking at others’ expense becomes more acceptable.

If you’re wondering what the solution is, then it starts with adults doing better to lead by example, demonstrating the kind of behaviour we hope to see in our children. By consistently modelling respect, kindness, and empathy online, we can help young people understand the importance of these values.

Encourage open discussions with children and teens about their online and offline experiences, and the impact of their words on others. This dialogue can help them navigate the complexities of digital interactions with greater awareness and sensitivity.

Additionally, parents and educators can introduce and reinforce the concept of digital citizenship, teaching young people to be responsible and ethical participants in the online world. This education can empower them to make better choices and stand up against negative behaviours they encounter.

By embracing these changes, we can not only improve our own well-being but also set a powerful example for the next generation, encouraging a future where kindness and respect are at the forefront of our interactions. By fostering environments of positivity and respect, both online and offline, we can guide younger generations towards healthier interactions and a more compassionate society.

Lastly, “we could all use a lot less screen time and a lot more human connection.” Children need to be reminded how to interact, play, and explore, and we can’t remind them if we’re checking work emails or scrolling through Facebook. So maybe this can help remind us what life offline is like.

Matthew Paris is a mental health advocate and professional who shares his experience living with psychosis in hopes to raise awareness and push for change regarding mental health.